Empathy

I feel like the ability to feel what others are feeling is perhaps the most remarkable ability we possess.

Empathy helps me deal with a lot of negative emotions. When I’m angry with someone, or a group of people, I try to use empathy to understand these others. This usually helps me relax. I think most people really are trying to do the best they can.

When I’m socially anxious, I try to use empathy to understand that everyone else is just as wrapped up in their own thoughts. I try to remember that just as I am the main character of my life, they are the main character of theirs.

I think empathy is also the key to my relationships. Taking the time to understand how someone feels, why they feel that way, it makes me kinder, more considerate. Empathy reminds me to ask people how they’re feeling, what they’re passionate about, what they ate for breakfast.

Unfortunately, I’ve realized I apply this remarkable ability, empathy, rather inconsistently. Instinctively, I feel more empathy for people I know, for people who look like me, who share similar backgrounds, who believe the same things. I give more consideration to these people.

I think that’s really bad, it’s unjustifiable. These characteristics, familiarity & similarity, they shouldn’t really matter. If somebody needs help, and I’m in a position to help, then I should help. I shouldn’t preference the people I know or the people I resemble. Everyone is equally deserving of my empathy, I should apply it indiscriminately.

The needs of my friends & family are no more important than the needs of strangers. And the needs of my own race, my own nation, my own species, they’re no more important than the needs of other races, other nations, other species. Equal interests deserve equal consideration.

I think this principle makes sense, but it’s hard to actually live by it, because it’s not always intuitive. Living by this principle requires effort & reflection. I don’t always take the time to do that.

Occasionally, I try slowing down and exercising my empathy more deliberately. What’s it like to be homeless? To be cold, hungry, & vulnerable, to be constantly glanced over, to beg thousands of strangers for help, most of them unwilling. What’s it like to live amidst violence & warfare? For bullets & bombs to become the soundtrack of your daily life. What’s it like to not look like everyone else? To feel like you stand out everywhere you go, to get stares, to feel unwelcome. What’s it like to be a farmed animal? To be locked in a cage your whole life, to be starved, beaten, & raped, to be utterly defenseless. What’s it like to be a wild animal? To have to live in constant fear of being eaten alive, of freezing, of starving to death.

There’s so much suffering in this world and I am ignorant to so much of it. Having the time to reflect on the suffering of others is a luxury in itself. 

I’m so grateful to be free of all these hardships. And I’m so grateful to be able to empathize with the individuals forced to endure these hardships. Without empathy, I would have no inclination to help.

If I could have a superpower, it would be perfect & unlimited empathy. To be able to escape the confines of my perspective, to perfectly understand what others are thinking & feeling. Since I don’t have this power, I’ll just have to settle for dialogue and my imperfect reflections. How are you feeling? How can I help? If I was you, what would I want me to do?

I hope one day we live in a world where everyone exercises empathy to its fullest extent. I hope we have designated times, spaces, holidays, and classes, dedicated to dialogue, dedicated to the reflection of what it’s like to be someone else. I hope we develop technology to help us better understand one another. I hope we use our intellect & our empathy to one day construct a world where everyone is able to live comfortably & happily. Where everyone flourishes.