I feel really scared to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway. Also, it’s hard to perfectly articulate my thoughts right now, but I’m going to try. Maybe I’ll try harder at a later date.
I’m on shrooms right now, and I’m experiencing the most insane things I’ve ever felt in my entire life.
I’ve been on shrooms before, and they haven’t made me feel this way. It feels like this is the first time I’m really allowing myself to let these feelings fully shine through. Maybe, that’s also because my preexisting mood, but I don’t know this shit just feels so fucking real, like so incredibly intense and real, that I feel like I have to share it with all of you. Like it would be wrong for me to keep it hidden almost. That’s what I’m feeling.
It is such a fucking gift to feel. It is so fucking amazing, and I know you all have felt it at some point.
Please let it happen!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! PLEASE FUCKING LET YOURSELF FEEL EVERYTHING!!!!!!
I WANT YOU ALL TO FEEL EVERYTHING!!!!!
Ok pretend like the rest of this is in all caps also because that’s still how I feel but I know it’s distracting, FUCK that’s funny
I want you all to let yourself feel every morsel of your existence. I want you to let it overcome you and rip through.
Like FUCK I sound so religious right now but it’s not even like that.
Like I want you to let it overcome you and overwhelm you. Succumb to it fully. Or at least allow yourself to sometimes.
I promise you. I promise you. I promise you. It is the most fucking beautiful thing in the world. Let every fucking cell orient in a single direction. Let it rip inside of you and fucking scream it.
I just want everyone to feel that so bad. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
And it’s genuinely the most heartbreaking thing in the world that people don’t let themselves feel this.
Also, of course it’s because other people have stood in their way and trauma and all that shit., yes all the qualifiers.
OKAY BUT PLEASE FEEL IT!!!!! FEEL EVERYTHINNG!!!!
Like I’m genuinely feeling so much empathy for people who pursue money & status and all that.
IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK!!!! IT DOESNT LAST!!!!
Okay maybe I’m wrong about that and other people are different, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.
STOP CHASING MONEY!!! Stop chasing status. Please fucking stop hurting each other.
Me & you & the animals and all of us I fucking promise you, we all feel that, we all have it within us.
FUCKING HELP EACH OTHER!!! FUCKING HELP EACH OTHER PLEASE!!!!!! PLEASE HELP EACH OTHER!!!!!
We can make something so much fucking better. We can move fucking mountains, I fucking promise you.
We can create something so beautiful and so grand. I really believe it
Okay literally my phone about to fucking die so I got to share this with the world first, but yea the upshot is! Lmfaooo
Allow yourself to feel! Or at least give yourself the space to sometimes!!!
And please recognize that we are all the same , and we can all help each other, and create something so fucking gorgeous & beautiful.
Okay I’m going back to this until my phone dies
Lowkey I might have already made my major points already Lmfaoo
I love letting you all see all of me in real time it is the realest thing I have felt in my life. Yeah, actually to the point that it overcomes my fear of seeming crazy, which is always stopping me
FUCKING BELIEVE EACH OTHER!!!!!!! BELIEVE PEOPLE WHEN THEY tell YOU WHAT THEY SAY!!!!
Fuck I really need to find my iPhone charger
I found it!!!! I fucking found it!!!
Bruh it was in my fucking car😂😂😂😂😂😂 I just really want you all to be able to relate to that feeling of how fucking funny that is.
Isn’t that crazy? How much of our experience is dictated by the fear that others won’t believe us. And how desperately we’re all searching for someone else to understand.
Be that fucking person for one another!!!!! Be the fucking person who understands someone else!!!
It’s also so wild how all of us are just searching for this same feeling all the time. Some of us look to money & status and some to drugs and some to relationships
AND I SWEAR RELATIONSHIPS IS THE ANSWER!!!! And I feel pretty confident in generalizing this to others, but it’s also likely I’m prone to overconfidence right now
But people have legit studied this, and relationships are the most sustainable key to happiness.
PLEASE STOP CHASING THE OTHER THINGS!!!!!!! PLEASE I AM FUCKING BEGGING YOU ALL, because I want you all to experience this too, I want it for you all so badly you don’t understand
I have so much love for all of you. Like genuinely all of you. It rips through my fucking soul and shreds me to pieces.
Fuck I almost feel like I’m flexing how good this is right now but I’m not even trying to. It’s so sad how hardwired it is the instinct that other people won’t believe me when I share my emotions
I feel like I’m genuinely experiencing what preachers do when they shout from roof tops. Because those people are feeling!!!!!
Fuck I got distracted from my other thought
I just want you to know I love you all so dearly. Like genuinely ALL of you I’m not just saying that!!!! I love you all so much, all the people & animals and EVERYTHING that can fucking feel even the tiniest resemblance of this emotion.
BECAUSE YOU ALL DESERVE IT!!!! I KNOW THAT so deeply. You all deserve the best in the fucking world and if we could just see each other.
It feels like the root of all our problems is just miscommunication. Because if people could just understand that others are feeling what they are, then we would stop fucking hurting each other and help one another and build something so beautiful.
Maybe that’s me being over optimistic about humanity but I really believe that. If y’all could really just understand the tiniest fraction of what the animals are feeling, of what our fellow humans are feeling, then you would help each other.
Because that force would move you to rip through mountains, to sacrifice everything, because this is so real. It is every nerve on my body, it is every thread in my heart, it is I don’t FUCKING KNOW WHAT METAPHOR CAN COME CLOSE, it is everything
And when I’m sober, I feel this sometimes too. The thing is I rarely allow myself to fully succumb to the gravity, because I get it it’s so scary, but it’s so fucking good, it’s so good
Masculinity is the most fucked up thing ever fucking created. So is having to worry about survival. Anything that stands in the way of letting us feel whatever this is is the worst thing in the world.
AND ITS NOT EACH OTHER!!!!! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD ITS NOT EACH OTHER. We misunderstand the evidence, we misinterpret it, but we ALL WANT THE SAME THING.
WE ARE ALL THE SAME AND WE ALL JUST WANT OUR NEEDS MET. It’s the most heartbreaking thing that we can’t all just recognize that and work together.
I want us all to work together so fucking badly. FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE!!! PLEASE!!!!! I want you to stop chasing the money, the power, the status, because you are all so beautiful ANd it won’t WORK!
This feeling is why I will dedicate everything I have, as much as in me to give, as much as I can, as long as I live, to all of you who are suffering, because I know that it is so real, and I know that you deserve to experience the other side of it. I love you all so much I wish you all could understand it all the time.
And for anyone just trying to express themself, I promise you I will believe you. I promise you, just tell it to me straight whatever the fuck you feel and I will believe you. And I’m so so so so so so sorry for any of the times someone has expressed their true self to me and I haven’t believed them. Because I know I’ve been skeptical sometimes, I will believe your feelings!!!!
You deserve to be believed, and you deserve to feel every fucking fiber in your body whenever you want to. You deserve to feel so fucking loved. It truly shatters me to think we experience the contrary because WE CANT UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!!!!!
Okay hopefully y’all have gotten the gist of this. It’s wild my whole life is just tryna convince people of how much I love them, for them to see it, for them to recognize we all share that ability to experience these feelings, and to just HELP EACH OTHER!!!!!!!
Obviously I get caught up chasing the wrong things quite often also though. I’m so far from perfect. And I’m also privileged which probably helps but honestly privileged people are also fucking miserable all the time too.
Truly the greatest privilege in the world is to allow yourself to feel everything. I want you all to feel everything.
And I’m so confident we can make our entire world so much better for everyone. We are so smart, and so skilled, and if we all just came together we could help each other so much more. We sometimes get fooled into thinking that fighting is the most effective means at attaining this feeling but I promise it’s not.
If we all helped each other I swear it would be one billion times easier. Like shit would go so smoothly. Okay, yeah limited resources and all that shit but nah we’d figure it out and create something so fucking beautiful for everybody. And we’ve come so far already!
I love you all so much and I hope I won’t regret this when I come down but something tells me I won’t because fuck this shit is so real.
I love you all so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sober thoughts on the above
Hahahah okay so it’s like two days after I wrote this and I just reread it. It definitely made me cringe a few times but also it is pretty hype.
I honestly really wish everyone could experience what I experienced. I don’t know if I did the best job communicating it, but basically my entire body was overwhelmed with love for everyone for like five hours and it was so beautiful.
And I felt like I had so much empathy for everyone and just truly wanted the best for everyone. I wasn’t plagued with the envy & jealousy & insecurity that I sometimes feel.
This post is also reassuring to me that I’m (mostly) living my life the right way. I know deep within me I have so much love & empathy for everyone. I always want to allow that to drive me, I never want to lose sight of it.
It’s so fucked up that our society is literally DESIGNED to make us lose sight of that. Like all the incentive structures point in the opposite direction: make profit, go get your bag, rise to the top, be powerful. We really gotta fix those incentives.
Hope this was enjoyable to read, and I hope you let yourself feel your feelings!
Taj 